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i died for you one time but never again

by genevieve m

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1.
when you're feelin safe in your skin maybe we'll meet again when you're feelin down in Kingston maybe we'll meet again
2.
i wish you’d just take me home where the light and love is gone don’t you cry my baby boy don’t you feed me all those lies i promise one day soon i’ll see you at maybe the right time maybe then my heart will change and i’ll try to be good but for now i will stay keep my distance, stay far away from you so my heart won’t break anymore please don’t act like you cared never did, you never do you only wanted to take my life and make it yours too the person that i used to love is dead and gone i weep and mourn for him he’s been gone for so long but for now i will stay keep my distance, stay far away from you so my heart won’t break anymore
3.
you can leave me on the corner where you found me, i'm not for sale anymore
4.
i want to be a good woman and i want for you to be a good man this is why i will be leaving and this is why i can't see you no more i will miss your heart so tender and i will love this love forever i don't want be a bad woman and can't stand to see you be a bad man i will miss your heart so tender and i will love this love forever and this is why i am leaving and this is why i can't see you no more this is why i am lying when i say that i don't love you no more cause i want to be a good woman and i want for you to be a good man
5.
W.Y.W.F.M.? 04:24
please don’t come near me i can’t remember my dreams but i’m sure you’re in them it’s the only time you spend with me i’m barely getting by i’m sorry i was ever in your life but hopefully one day i will try to forget your name but i don’t really want to i will always run to you, to you so tell me now will you stay will you wait for me i understand if you can’t if you wanna leave just tell me soon so i can try to move on from you the sun is coming up and there is nothing left in my stomach when you tell me, “I love you” something in my heart knows it’s not true i’m sorry for going away i swear i wanted to take your name but i feel so sick and you know i need you back, i hate to admit so tell me now will you stay will you wait for me i understand if you can’t if you wanna leave just tell me soon so i can try to move on from you i know, I’m angry too please don’t make it like i meant to hurt you I’m sorry i didn’t let you in but you weren’t the only one with a burden you say you don’t regret it but i can still tell when you’re full of shit was it ever even love or was it just something to fuck me up so tell me now will you stay will you wait for me i understand if you can’t, if you wanna leave just tell me soon so i can try to move on from you, from you
6.
would you even mind if i called just to talk i always wonder, and it makes me want to rip my skin off you’re like an itch in my throat but i can’t cough i have this sickness for you and i can’t turn it off maybe there is another world where it’s just us two my heart doesn’t belong in the one without you now with you gone i have no one to talk to so now my heart and i, we’ll cry for you i got into my first fight with my brother he said that i made him afraid to miss my father now everything smells like water and i wanna hear your voice, but i don’t wanna bother i don’t want my hair to fall out again but i can’t call you to vent so instead of food, i eat my head thinking of everything i could ever regret but i could never regret you i’m sorry i ever said it, it’s not true i really hope we’re not through there’s so much we never got to do they say you’re probably no good for me but that hurts my heart too much to agree with my tired eyes and bony knees you’re in my veins like a disease
7.
space n time 04:34
it doesn’t hurt to look at your stuff anymore i still wear your shirts sometimes no matter what you’re doing out there i hope you’re fine even if you’re not with me cause you still deserve to be happy you were kind in so many ways you were the greatest thing on my brain and no matter where we are i’ll always love you even if it’s just from afar i want to tell you i’m sorry a thousand times i just need to clear my mind but i know the best thing i can do for you is give you your space and time i’m sorry i never loved you in the way that you deserved you were always the one i looked to and you gave me more than i deserved if i could do it again, i would but i don’t know if you think we should i’m getting better, i can feel it but i want you here to see it you would be so proud of me i want you to come back to me it’s safe here i promise i’m truly sorry about all this in my last dream about you, you wanted to talk i hope it means you miss me we were interrupted by my alarm clock but please call me
8.
ghost 03:53
i keep staying up too late i’m kinda tired and i don’t feel so great where’s the boy who lived in your skin i think somebody came and took him please bring him back cause i miss him maybe he was never there to begin with he was just a ghost that i imagined my brain made up to cope with my habits guilt weighs me down more than anything songs of remorse pour out of my seams wish i could kiss you one last time even if I’m never yours and you’re never mine i was hell bent on destroying what we had and I’m terrified you’ll never want me back i always knew that you would leave so i pushed until you never wanted to see me if i knew that was the last time i’d see you i never would’ve yelled at you i think somebody died that day i think it was both of us in a way i hope she treats you the right way maybe she can make you stay but i hope it’s hard kissing her i hope that in your mouth, the taste of mine still burns you can never love me the same again and ’ll never get to sleep in your bed i want this all to be over but i’m a ghost too, and you want to be able to hold her
9.
i once fell in love with you just because the sky turned from gray to blue i believe in saint nicholas it's a different type of santa claus i believe in saint nicholas
10.
drifting apart like we’re strangers i pretend i don’t know you but i do, i do, know all about you or at least i thought i knew you were my favorite boy you called me your sweetest girl i guess i was, i was for a while or at least i thought i was i didn’t love anyone but i always loved you i did, i did i tried to tell you i’m sorry if it never showed i’m here if you need me i always was and will be i ache for you, for you all the time i want you to ache for me sometimes i forget your face can’t remember your frame i wish i could just, could just start over i never want to forget i’ve spent too many days waiting around for you i need new ways, new ways to waste my time i need you out of my mind

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released February 20, 2016

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genevieve m Lancaster, California

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