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homesick ghosts

by genevieve m

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1.
I'm lying on the moon My dear, I'll be there soon It's a quiet and starry place Time's we're swallowed up In space we're here a million miles away There's things I wish I knew There's no thing I'd keep from you It's a dark and shiny place But with you my dear I'm safe and we're a million miles away We're lying on the moon It's a perfect afternoon Your shadow follows me all day Making sure that I'm Okay and we're a million miles away
2.
peter, can i go back home? i flew here under false pretence, i though it would be fun but the lost boys are all moved away, and one them's locked up i know you think you're still a child but i couldn't give a fuck you're twenty one peter, i can dream no more i've been chasin all of yours that i've forgotten what it was that i wanted what i want no i won't be your doll so please don't you ask me to you see that i don't look so good in yellow like other dolls they do, like other dolls they do oh peter, i am not naive i see the way you look at her, you don't do that for me oh it must be love, but we both know it's not with us no i won't be your doll so please don't you ask me to you see that i don't look so good in yellow like other dolls they do, like other dolls they do peter, he walks beside the lake while i lay beside an empty space just waiting for the sirens just waiting for the sirens no i won't be your doll so please don't you ask me to i won't shut my little painted face like other dolls they do, like other dolls they do
3.
I can't forget it, Though I've tried I know you regret it, love, You told me so many times. But I still wonder Why You left with her And left me behind Take your hands off him 'Cause he's the only one that I have ever loved And please don't find her skin When you turn the lights out I can't erase it from my mind I just replay it, love, Think of it all of the time. But I don't want to imagine Words you spoke to her that night. Naked bodies look like porcelain, You both knew I'd be bleeding inside. Did she make your heart beat faster than I could? Did she give you what you hoped for? Oh, nights of loveless love, I hope it made you feel good, Knowing how much I adored you.
4.
Let the water rise Let the ground crack Let me fall inside Lying on my back Lying on my back Dry your smoke-stung eyes So you can see the light You're staring at the sky Watching stars collide Watching stars collide If you leave When I go Find me In the shallows When the time comes On the last day When they start to come down Will you just Will you run away? Will you run away? And let it all rain down From the blood stained clouds Come out, come out, to the sea my love And just Drown with me Drown with me If you leave When I go Find me In the shallows Lying on my back Watching stars collide
5.
Shadows settle on the place, that you left Our minds are troubled by the emptiness Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time From the perfect start to the finish line And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs Setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong The lovers that went wrong We are the reckless, We are the wild youth Chasing visions of our futures One day we'll reveal the truth That one will die before he gets there And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones 'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone We're setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home, It was a flood that wrecked this home Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette, A lifeless face that you'll soon forget, My eyes are damp from the words you left, Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one, 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone Setting fire to our insides for fun, To distract our hearts from ever missing them. But I'm forever missing him
6.
if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them you say you'll provide the birdbath if i provide the skin and bathing in the moonlight i'm to tremble like a kitten if blue eyed babes raised as Hitler's little brides and sons they got angelic tendencies like some boys tend to act like queens if every angel's terrible then why do you watch her sleep love to hear her sing and wear purple eyes like rings and the flowers have no scent and the child's been miscarried if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them you say you'll provide the birdbath if i provide the skin and bathing in the moonlight i'm to tremble like a kitten oh, every angel's terrible said freud and rilke all the same rimbaud never paid them no mind but jimmy morrison had his elevators his elevators, he had his elevator angels if every angel's terrible why do you hide inside her like a child in a skirt the supermarket's loud and bright boy, don't she feel warm tonight boy, don't she feel warm tonight boy, don't she feel warm tonight if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them if every angel's terrible then why do you welcome them you say you'll provide the birdbath if i provide the skin she sounded like an angel when she cried
7.
from the beginning small lifeforms they can kill without warning so you don't explode stop you growing limps and thinking that you love them now you're blinking and reminding her of him oh you steal his features and your mother is a bleacher she don't even feel the heat no she don't even want to speak to you but you, you always find another place to go oh you, you always find another womb to grow, to grow, to grow well you can try to sink down deeply and find the children lost at sea find the children who discretely were killed in infancy to stop them holding you and screaming that you'll lose your wildest dreaming still reminding me what i feel how he left without reasons but you, you always find another place to go oh you, you always find another womb to grow, to grow, to grow you can try to forget me but i won't let you easily you can try to forget me but i won't let you easily i'm floating out in the water and washed out to sea drifting away this time you'll regret you've conceived it clean up the dead you leave behind just like insects clean up the dead you leave behind
8.
drifting apart like two sheets of ice, my love frozen hearts growing colder with time there's no heat from our mouths please take me back to my refuge and we were in flames, i needed, i needed you to run through my veins, like disease, disease and now we are strange, strangers it's different now gray-faced, eyes burnt out flames are gone, gloves are on i have a feeling love's gone mad we're too similar losing our minds with cabin fever, shut in confined spaces lost in the dark, my heart taken and resting on your heart and we were in flames, i needed, i needed you to run through my veins, like disease, disease and now we are strange, strangers wait for me to degrade before you go killing prey for waste of daylight speaks when slumber's keeping under the bed out of revenge i'm derailing, my youth has stained our sheets with some piece of me with some piece of me oh, winter comes oh, winter crush all of the things that I once loved winter come winter crush all of the things that I once had
9.
miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss one of your soft sweet lagrimas miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss one of your soft sweet lagrimas miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss give me one of your soft sweet lagrimas cause i felt your pain when your, your baby was slain i tossed some roses to perfume his grave oh miss madonna, won't you let me underneath your halo cause it's raining hard raining hard in this abyss miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss one of your soft sweet lagrimas miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss one of your soft sweet lagrimas oh miss madonna, where you goin' after church in that preacher's car you know i won't tell nobody that you've been smoking cigars i won't tell nobody, tell nobody that you've been smoking cigars miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss one of your soft sweet lagrimas miss madonna, won't you give me a kiss one of your soft sweet lagrimas

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released December 28, 2015

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genevieve m Lancaster, California

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